who?

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i dont answer comments that dont have a name to them anymore. if you are just posting to find out and not cause you really care, and if you cant post your name, why should i bother with a direct answer to a stranger?

i'll give you this, though. there is a person who refused to be there until they needed something. there is a person who didnt care until they thought it would get them friends. there is a person who doesnt respect anyone. because this person says one thing and does five others, i dont know if i can be their friend.

there comes a time when a person realizes who they want to run with. and who they dont. sometimes its really hard to want to run with someone when the only reason they are your friend is because you are associated with people. [singular and plural workage there]. if i am not good enough because of who i am without them, then why the fuck am i good enough with them? i thought i could be everyone's friend. and when people didnt want to be this persons friend anymore and i still did, i talked to them and i figured, hey, its friendship, right? wrong. it wasnt. a friend could tell you anything or feel comfortable telling them stuff. i dont. not that much. because anytime i could try, i feel that this person doesnt care. i dont know. i guess i have to wait and see. cause right now, i dont know. i just really dont know.

post your name, i'll tell you who. dont bother posting back, i wont. simple enough, eh?

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well, it wasnt me who posted before pretty much for the reason that it was already posted....but who?
~Holly

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I'm kinda curious. Is it really that hoodie that made you that mad? Cause Robin, I wore it cause I was cold. I really had no other reason. No clothes. No coat. Hoodie. It kinda bothers me that you'd think I'd want to play childish games like that. I told you I'm not into him and I meant it.
I know how stuff has ended up is bothering you, but honey, Karen was right. It just takes a while to find a fish who doesn't bite and leave permenant bite marks [literally].
I figured out that I'm not ready to be loved because I want it for all the wrong reasons. In order to love you have to love yourself first and gain from when you are around your lover. If you don't have that you aren't ready to love in the right way. You can love but its sick and twisted and its hurting you instead of give you a high you shouldn't need drugs to have.
I think when we are ready to love our hearts will let us know, and those fish Karen spoke of will come straight out of the water and splash us with kisses.
We all deserve real love, not something we have to search through dirty waters to find. And whoa, have the waters been musty lately.
I'm sorry for what happened, how I acted and what not. But I can't apologize for everything.
Heart.

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no need to apologize. you didnt really do anything. not at all. and i am sorry that i made you think that you did something. i really am. i was acting just as childish as i made it out to seem that everyone else is.

i want to be loved the same way i love him. but he is incapable of doing it. he needs to love himself first and he doesnt. he thinks he's worthless and unlovable. but he isnt, not at all. the only reason i havent entirely given up is because something is telling me not to. i dont know what my conscious even sounds like, so i dont think its that... but there is something that is telling me its not time yet. and i cant not listen to this "mysterious voice". cause this isnt my heart, nor is it my brain. cause my heart tells me he doesnt love me, and my brain is telling me i am destroying myself. but something else is keeping me here. i dont know. i think he needs to be forcefully loved before he realizes that he is definitely lovable.

heart back.

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